But you could not stay angry at Kenn. I mean look at us – Here we are.

So I am just going to stick to my role.

Judy has spoken about Kenn’s professional life, Steve about Kenn as a friend and lover.

I’m here to talk about the Kenn that I knew, which was in some ways his most shockingly unexpected persona, that of the wholesome family man.

We three are not the complete experts on Kenn, but we’re giving briefing notes in the phases of his life. At the reception there will be more stories and hopefully lots of interaction. There’s so much I don’t know about Kenn as an artist, or art collector, just as some of you may want his recipe for broiled eggplant.

Kenn Law met Sharon Goddu (as she then was) in 1975. He’d have been about 21 years old. He’d returned to the Lower Mainland after some years as a hippie camp director and schoolteacher in Lund, BC, and was applying for a job as a child care worker. Sharon, one of the CCWs, objected to his hiring – she said that there was something kind of intimidating about his charisma and energy – she knew that he could change her life.

Well, he did get hired, so Kenn and Sharon became coworkers, then friends, best friends, roommates, and ultimately co-parents to her two young daughters, Rachel and Willow.

Ultimately, Sharon moved her family up to Desolation Sound, north of Powell River. Kenn told me he blamed himself for making the Sunshine Coast seem so alluring that he’s sent his precious daughters into a pre-technological world of cold water, oyster digging, and bear evasion.

Later, the girls came of age and started to attend Simon Fraser University. This is where I came into the picture.

Rachel and I worked on the student newspaper together, starting around 1987. She was very friendly and nice, and invited a bunch of us to a party at her place, an old house in Burnaby they called the Pender Palace. And Rachel introduced me to Kenn.

He made a striking impression: tall, broad shoulders, with the shaved head and a menacing expression. I also remember that he was incredibly curt with me. It could be that he was angry about the music – there was this sloppy jam band playing, I believe they were called the Gonch Messiahs – we know that he was particular about music.

But I also think he really didn’t like me. He was still reserved years later when I was dating Willow. Now that I am a dad, I really respect his frostiness towards whippersnappers who were hanging around his daughters. I don’t believe he really trusted my intentions until 1995, when we got married. And of course he did all these super-elaborate flower arrangements for the reception.

After that, he was a wonderful father in law and grandpa. He’d come over and cook us big meals, accompany us to shows, coo over the babies when they came, bring us coffee in the morning when we were up all night with a newborn, buy them clothes, volunteer at their school. I’m glad that Sophie and Flynn are almost 6 and 9. They will keep real memories of their Poppa Kenn.

As for Willow and myself, Kenn’s still a real presence in our lives.

This morning, I woke up, looked in the mirror upon which he’d written Go Beyond and Choose Happy in phosphorescent paint, see the tattoos he’d cajoled me into getting together, walk past the kids’ room he decorated, went to the kitchen he painted, ate bacon from the frying pan he left here, drank coffee from one of his mugs, put on the shirt and shoes he gave me, and walked to our car through the garden he planted, from the house he helped me paint.

I know what I’m supposed to feel about that. I ought to be taking consolation from the gifts he’d given us, to feel grateful that we got to know him for a considerable portion of his life. To acknowledge that his life was lived more intensely, passionately, dangerously, creatively than the theoretical average person for whom one day is much like another.

But that math doesn’t make sense to me. Heightened ability to give and to feel should have earned a reward. Those who don’t waste life, should get more years, not less.

I guess I am starting to come out of my shellshock over his quite horrible and protracted death, and into realizing that I am without my friend. He loved gossip, furor, huge emotional scenes. If anyone should be here, with us, it would be Kenn.

And if you’re a religious person, maybe you think he is here. If so, I envy your consolation. For myself, I say, Kenn – forget the ten bucks. I’ll always owe you. Goodbye.

Early Tuesday I got a ride with Keith, Sharon’s husband and Pat to attend the memorial in Vancouver. Kenneth’s first visit to Lund in many years came last summer to attend a memorial for the death of Mike, one of Pat’s sons, who had also worked at our camp. Soon thereafter Pat had lost another son. She bore the weight of these tragedies with great strength.

We arrived at the spare but stately old Vancouver frame house, the home of Willow, Ron and their children, with some time to spare. Ron had corresponded with me about the old pictures and journal excerpts they had read on this weblog, so I felt immediately drawn into the family. Ron and Willow disappeared, and I met Ron’s father Henry, his sister-in-law Rachel, her 15 month old son Dash, and her husband Cameron. She has a Ph.D. in English and he’s finishing one. For two and a half minutes we discussed her dissertation topic, the Semiotics of Multicultural Rhetoric.

In the midst of the hubbub, Sharon, whom I’d first met two days earlier, prepared me a grilled cheese sandwich with pickled green beans and a cup of coffee, and poured me a shot of her 25 year old prized Canadian Whiskey.

The Unitarian Church at 49th and Oak was packed with 250 people attending the memorial. We were greeted by a shrine outside and four kids handing out programs, two of them Kenneth’s adopted grandchildren, Sophia and Flynn.

The service began with a quotation from Mary Oliver:

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

The lay minister didn’t know Kenneth but was awed by the intensity and range of his legacy. The program included a harp introduction, recorded music, an operatic rendition of “Ave Maria,” and a beautiful piano and voice performance of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” by Ron.

There were three speeches, one by his professional mentor, one by a former lover, and one by his son-in-law. From these I learned that he worked with child protective services and in an alternative school for severely disturbed kids; that he founded and managed “After Hours,” a drop in center and hotline which became a Province-wide institution; that he organized teams and competed as a runner, a hurdler and a softball player in the Gay Olympics; that he was a textile designer; that he earned an M.A. from Pratt Institute of Art in New York; that he was a famous D.J.–”Poppalizard”– in young people’s clubs. Ron spoke of the way he remained as part of the family after Willow married: Poppa to the grandchildren, cook, party organizer, gardener and house painter. It struck me how many of these life accomplishments were there in germ during the time we knew him in his early twenties.

Following the three speeches and a candlelighting and quenching ceremony, Ron presented a DVD with musical accompaniment including a dozens of pictures and film clips of Kenneth from infancy to grandfatherhood.

At the huge reception afterward, I ran into Mara, Janet and Rhea, Lund people who now live elsewhere. I would have loved to stay for the roasts and tributes, but I had a plane to catch.

Next morning, Peter and I roamed the trails of our summer home at Knoll House, breakfasted at Nancy’s Bakery and explored the old Marx farm with permission of Ed and Maggie, who’ve owned and lived on the place for many years. During the time we lived there it was called the Bleiler farm, for the residents prior to us. Brambles and alders had grown in close to the house, you could hardly see the stream, and alot of stuff had been collected and strewn about. But the place was in working order; there were chickens, a horse, more light on the pasture since the logging after we left, and the pear, apple and cherry trees, ancient and decrepit in 1970, were still standing and producing.

I recognized the staircase to the loft in the abandoned shack Kenneth had decorated and inhabited during 1973, but the old gate with the heart-shaped hole–the entrance to our homestead that kept the goats out and welcomed the people–was gone.

We walked out of the woods and drove to Rosemary’s bright new home overlooking the water on Ralph Road, the location for the Lund memorial. Rosemary worked with Kenneth at the Lund School as instructional assistant. Also in attendance were Darrel, his partner for the last year, who had come up from Vancouver for the celebration; Vicky, whose cousin Joanne Kenneth had almost married while living on our farm; Debby whom Kenneth had married to allow her to emigrate to Canada as an eighteen year-old; Lou, who had met Kenneth in Vancouver and came to Powell River at his instigation; Sharon, who also came to the area as a result of Kenneth’s influence and whose two daughters were adopted by him in Vancouver; Pat, Rudy, Sherry, Steve and Juliet, who were friends with Kenneth when he lived in Lund during the seventies.

After enjoying the sunny vistas and the food and drink, we sat in a circle and shared old photos and stories of Kenneth: grateful stories of his generous involvements in families, of his inspiring creative community activity, of his way with children, and hilarious stories of his outrageous sexuality and gender-bending, his falling in and out of love, his tendency to appear and disappear without warning.

While this memorial took place another historic event was unfolding in Lund: a meeting of 75 people to try to halt the logging of old growth trees on the Malaspina Peninsula. Steve, Juliet and I attended the last hour, retired to the pub with two organizers, Eagle and Pam, and then went back to Malaspina Farm for dinner and conversation which mixed talk of Kenneth and the political future of this area. Next day, Sunday, Peter, Steve and I went cross country skiing for seven hours on the Elk Lake loop. I spent Monday recovering from that and reading and writing at the Behrs while they were at work.

January 28 1973

Cold and rainy. Janet discovered Rebecca dead in the barn, hanging by her neck in an eight inch hole in the partition between her stall and the grain Michael Friedman was storing there. In order to get her out, Steven had to hacksaw her horns. We decided not to butcher her and buried her under boughs and ferns on the adjoining Crown land. Went to Friedmans place to get eggs and met Ken Law who brought our grocery order from the coop in Vancouver. Went to Pihls to get Vance, Letitia Tracy and Kelly Faire to help us do up eleven chickens including Ajax the rooster. Vance chopped the heads off and gutted them, Kelly carried the carcasses to Steven, Janet, Ticia and Tracy who plucked. It took two and a half hours. Afterwards we had popcorn and hot chocolate in front of the fire.

January 29 1973

Warm snow slush. J and S worked in barn, J transferring wet grain to dry place, S fixing the plumbing leak in the sink upstairs, cleaning up mess John left, including bleach bottle half full of pee. Barn is now ready for new occupancy. Made huge pot of chicken soup with Ajax. Froze ten chickens, one to Vance. Ken, Debby and Maz came for dinner. Ken stayed over.

Friday February 2

Steven has interview at Manpower and is told he should leave the area to find work elsewhere…Seth and Muriel write offering $1500 loan. Eight acre parcel of our land is listed at Marriette Agencies…..

Thursday February 8

Kenneth informed us of his decision to move into the cabin, as a result of a Tarot reading the night before. He brings string and teaches Steven how to Macrame. Steven stops freaking out for a while…Potato pancakes and parsnips for dinner. Mrs. Williams called and asks both Jan and Steven to substitute at school the next day. Melvin Marguilis and gang arrive in time for a party. Lou T. called saying they definitely want to buy the eight acre parcel…Ken agrees to take care of Jonah while Steven and Jan go to school. Nick Valerie, Kenneth, Melvin, stay over…

Sunday February 11

Clear morning, cloudy afternoon. S. picked brush, K. went along. J modeled for Fred. Jonah went to Nancy Crowther’s with Doreen. J and S went upstairs. K. cut the end of his finger off. J and S take him to hospital. Bleeding stops when Dr. Warriner looks at the cut. S and J and K buy ice cream at Knight’s Weekly News.

Monday February 12

…Steven goes to dentist and gets spark plug wires replaced on truck. Goes looking for work at construction site and with Durling the surveyor. Janet gets notice of reinstatement on UIC and a check for $58. Jeff Chernove says Kirpal Singh is the answer. David Creek says Primal therapy is the answer. J, K, and S work on plans for Valentines party and discuss jealousy.

Wednesday February 14

J and S go to town early for appointment with Dr. Ryan, the psychiatrist, then to lawyer to sign contract and close sale of land with Lou and Kent. Kenneth stays with Jonah and cooks all day for Valentines party: chicken in milk, dahl, yogurt salad. Steven makes Valentines cheesecake. People arrive and make Valentines and paint cookies: Tony and Maureen, Ron and Anne, Ian and Maggie, David, Susan and Jessica, Laurie and David Creek. S and J and K and Jonah exchanged valentines. S and K played recorders.

Friday February 16

… Jonah gets baby aspirin bottle and eats 10. J and S take him to hospital where he’s made to barf, but no aspirins are found…Late dinner. Jonah calls Kenneth “Kennie,” the first adult outside of “Nanet” and “Daddy” that he’s named.

Saturday February 24

David Creek looked after Jonah and Obie while S and J and K discussed plans for the OFY [Opportunities for Youth] Grant application to put Touchstone idea into action—a day camp on the farm…J cuts Kenneth’s hair to jawbone length. He shortens beard. S. goes to sleep in the yard, but is rained out at 3:00 A.M.

Sunday February 25

Chickens are happy in their new coop and laid 16 eggs. J and K and S divide up questions on OFY application. S went to cabin, Janet stayed in house. K. took care of Jonah. Everybody’s writing…J and S experience K’s cabin for the first time. Jonah goes to sleep; JSK discuss and write more. Jonah wakes up, Steven takes him to chickens and does chores and makes chicken soup while J and K work on question 4. Janet bathes Jonah and puts him to bed. More writing and discussion of finding junior staff. Jan calls art teacher, Mrs, Adams, who she substituted for, for recommendation of best art student. Answer is Elaine Sorenson, who lives in Lund…

Monday February 26

Steven’s first day of work with Durling Surveyors, on crew with David Butterfield and Lorie Padgett…On the way home picks up total payment for salal picking: $15.—Jan and K bake bread, brownies, crunchy granola and apple strudel. Rick and Sue visit, she’s due in six weeks. K. shaves his beard… After dinner borrow typewriter from the Parkers and work most of the night on the OFY application.

Saturday March 2

…(K’s handwriting) The Creeks dropped Obie over. Joanne and her sister came. S. worked on fence, planted four posts, put rails and shakes on 2 sections….Fred predicted Norma will give birth Mar 9, 1976 6lb. 7 oz. girl. Coq au Vin and baked potatoes cooked in sour apple plum wine. S. did finances. J cleaned the toilet. Sat in front of the fire. Peter Behr called from Berkeley. Slept by the fire.

Sunday March 4

Rainy morning. 17 eggs. S. worked on fence…K rebuilt a gate on way to chicken coop. J took out nails and peeled bark… Jonah lost one shoe in back of the barn and walked barefoot in the muck. Disney Duck laid three eggs in the stream. K found them…

Monday March 5

Steven used transit for the first time on the job…K and J shoveled out the barn while Lorie watched Obie and Jonah. After work, S. and K cut rails and poles for fence

behind the barn.

Sunday March 10

Steven got up early to work on fence. The weather cleared. Jonah and Obie went swimming in the creek with their clothes on. Kenneth builds a gate out of old shakes and cuts a heart in the middle. Jan nails up staves. Joann here all afternoon putting up insulation in the barn. Peter, Ronnie, Tanya Tai and Lynn Press come for cheesecake at 9:30. J and K had a ticklefight.

Sunday March 11

Spring in the air. S. repairs wind chimes and K puts up Jonah’s swing. Everybody works on fence and cleanup in AM. Then we sit on the rock and drink tea. Violets and crocuses are blooming…first day no fire in the barrel stove.

Tuesday March 20

S. goes to work at 7:45…home at 5:45. J baked cake, bread, granola and cooked casserole. K put two more windows on cabin. J and K and Jonah went to Lund. J. takes off wedding ring and doesn’t put it back on.

Saturday March 24

K. painted door of cabin. Joann and Scott work on loft, come for dinner. S. takes off wedding ring.

Monday March 26

K and J clean house. OFY person arrives to check out farm and discuss grant…

Monday April 2

Sixth wedding anniversary of S and J. Cloudy day. Marigolds up. Jonah plays outside. Janet moves clothes into her room. Banty rooster in with chickens. S. writes anniversary song. Jan makes chocolate-peanut frosting and heart of candied violets for S. and anniversary. Decorates with rings. S and J put them on.

Saturday April 21

Cloudy. S and David Lyons took Jonah for a walk at Okeover. Diana and K washed dishes and talked wool and weaving. Call from Emmonds beach that sheep Gwendolyn and lamb Reinhart are standing on bluff. J, S, K, Diana, David and Jonah get in red truck and chase sheep for two hours, up to Torgeson’s place. Art helps. Lamb is caught. Sheep splits. Art chases her back. Lamb in truck, held by K, cries to sheep. Sheep darts around into the arms of David. Sheep is tied and loaded into truck. Jan gives Diana some fleece.

Sunday April 22, Easter

Kenneth finds four dead banty chicks near barn and one in his dog Baja’s mouth. Lorie Padgett and family arrive with Easter candy and colored eggs. K. gives Jonah present of mobile. Children go picking fiddleheads for lunch, hear cheeping from near barn, find and bring a live chick into the house where Janet makes nest and feeds it with eye-dropper. Steve and Patty Hansen and others arrive with musical instruments. Sun comes out. Ten people trip. Kids hunt Easter eggs. S. cooks dinner. Frisbee in the field at sunset.

Sunday May 6

Kenneth builds meditation platform in cabin. Has vision of Kirpal Singh. Changes diet. Observes day of silence…

Tuesday May 15

S and K drive to town early—S to work, K to Vancouver. J. did goats. At 11:00 Brian called from Vancouver say the grant is coming through–$5000 for the summer.

Kenneth painted the sign
Kenneth in top image, seated at right
Kenneth seated to left of band
Kenneth in the middle
First performance of the Lund Theatre Troupe:
“Free to Be You and Me”
directed by Kenneth

Lund Theatre Troupe morning after opening of
“Three One-Acts” 1976

review of “Three One Acts” June 1976 Powell River Progress

review of “Three One Acts” June 1976 Powell River News

Preview of “Three One Acts” in Powell River News

smarx@calpoly.edu